The Headbanger Theologian

Poor me - EDITED

Yesterday the water main outside our house broke. This means that we have been without running water for almost 24 hours. To make things even worse, Tiff and I are in the midst of the flu. I was feeling so bad this morning that I didn't go to work.

After the kids toddled off to school I went back to bed. Laying there feeling sorry for myself and the horrible turn my life had taken, I thought of all the people around the world who don't ever have access to running water. The worse thing that this situation means for us is that we can't have morning showers or run the dishwasher. It's not life or death. We have three dozen bottles of water so we won't run short of water to drink. And even if we did drink it all, I could just drive to a grocery store and buy more.

Fortunately, we don't even have to do that. Yesterday within a couple of hours of the water main break, the city came and set up a water tank outside our house. While we may not have running water, this tank ensures that we have access to safe, clean water. The sad reality is that 1.1 billion people around the world do not enjoy the same access we do.

What is ultimately a minor inconvenience to us is a way of life for far too many around the world. That seems a little bit fucked up considering the money that our western governments piss away on useless things (like renovations to the facade of the Governor General's house) and bad things (like ill conceived and fraudulently concocted wars. Do I even need to link to a story on that?). I am practically hysterical over not being able to jump in the shower when I want to. I can't imagine what not being able to have water to drink at all would be like.

Before you rush out and plan a telethon for me, consider how blessed you and I really are. We have homes, food in the fridge, and governments in place who take steps to help us out when we have problems like a water main break. If I lost my job tomorrow there is a social safety net in place to help me pay the bills. Basically, my worst day is a damn sight better than a lot of people's best day. Hell, the mere fact that I have a bank account means that I am wealthier than the majority of people on this planet.

As we in the West enjoy a culture of consumption, people are dying for a lack of basic necessities for  life. I know we don't want to hear this when we would rather wallow in our self-pity. It is, however, the reality. Hopefully, that won't always be the case.

EDIT:

Immediately after uploading this post I came across the following video via. Need I say any more about how hard it is for some to get drinking water and how callous our disregard for their suffering is?

Busted

Yesterday I saw a guy in the midst of getting busted by Saskatoon's finest. Whoever he was and whatever he did must have been relatively serious, there were about 15 cars surrounding him as he was handcuffed on someone's front lawn (I bet the people who live in that house were a little concerned about what was happening).

As I drove by my rubbernecking allowed me to see the guy hauled to his feet by two officers. His hands were cuffed tightly behind his back. I noticed the guy in cuffs let out a deep breath, his long hair blew in the wind, his eyes focused on the ground. For a brief moment I felt a twinge of what must have been going through his mind.

Driving on, I began to consider how that guy's day had begun and how he ended up in that position. For some reason in my mind's eye I could see him sitting down to breakfast. Starting his day like any other, with no inkling that the day would finish behind bars.

What was it that he had done? Was it a crime that he committed yesterday or one committed weeks or even months ago? Did he plan on breaking the law that day or did circumstances put him in a position where he had little choice? I won't say no choice. We can always choose to not break the law. Can't we?

Going back years. What choices did he make at a much younger age that lead him to end up in handcuffs? Was this the first time he had been arrested or just another in a long line of run-ins with the law?

Maybe I am crazy. Maybe I over think events like this sometimes. I guess this one can be chalked up to that instant where I could almost feel what he was feeling. In that instant he wasn't just another crook being pulled off the streets, he was another human being whose life was in a very bad place.

Maybe he is a really bad dude. Maybe he has killed somebody. Maybe he has left a trail of tears in his life and those who know him hate the sound of his voice. I will probably never know. Funny though, without any back story I am able to look at him with compassion. God is able to look at us with compassion and God knows our back stories.

I am sure the world would be a better place if we were able to look at everyone who crossed our path with this same kind of compassion. But, that is impossible, isn't it? How could we go through life not looking out for our own self interest and not judging people? That goes against everything we are conditioned to do.

This is too much for me to think about. I'm going to turn the stereo up a little louder, hopefully the chatter will clear my mind.

My music corner

Tiffany was kind enough to set up a corner of our living room for me. Click the thumbnail for a larger version.

Surprises

The Mormon missionaries that visited us the other night had made an appointment to come back at six last evening. Six o'clock came and went without a knock at our door and to be honest I wasn't very surprised. I figured it was a 50/50 shot whether they would show up or not. As Tiffany said "being blacklisted twice by the Mormons is probably more than enough."

Something surprising happened though, a little after six thirty there was a knock at our door. The two missionaries had come back, and this time they brought a friend. My suspicion was that he was a leader in their church and that because of our prior encounters with missionaries he was brought along to keep an eye on things.

Once they came in from the cold and we were introduced to their friend I had a strange feeling. You know how sometimes you know almost immediately that you like someone? The guy that the missionaries brought with them was one of those people. He was instantly like-able. After talking to him for a few minutes I realized that he wasn't a leader in the church, he was just a Mormon guy that had the missionaries over to dinner with his family and then drove them to come meet us.

After we dispensed with some small talk we got to the meat of why they were there. They asked us if we had any questions about the LDS church. I said no, that we have read the Book of Mormon and that the missionaries who had visited us in the past answered any questions we may have had. It was then that I got my second surprise of the evening. One of the missionaries admitted that he thought that was the case. He suspected after our first conversation that the chances of us joining their church were slim to none but that he had wanted to come back and talk to us anyway.

I told them that my main issues with the LDS church are the lack of independent archaeological evidence for the places and people described in the Book of Mormon. More than that though, I told them that their doctrine of the need for someone to be baptized so that they may be saved was wrong. If there was anything we could do to achieve salvation then there was no need for Jesus to die on the cross.

It was at this point that the guy who drove the missionaries to our house spoke up. He said that in his mind, baptism wasn't essential for salvation but that it for him it was a symbolic act to show obedience to Christ. I remarked that he had a very Christian way of looking at baptism. Sadly, this is not the teaching of his church.

When they left they said that we could expect a phone call to make another appointment with us. I am not convinced that we can actually expect a call, but they did manage to surprise me last night. I was left with the same curious feeling that I have had when visited by Mormon missionaries before. They are nice people and they sincerely believe what their church teaches. I am not able to brand them as evil, but we don't believe the same things either.

The knock at our door

Last night just before dinner there was a knock at our back door. As usual our two dogs barked up a storm, fortunately it doesn't take much to calm them down. Their combined weight is less than 14 pounds. Once the noise had subsided, Tiffany opened the door to find two missionaries from the Mormon church on our porch.

I'm not sure what it is about is. It seems that we attract Mormons like moths to a light. Tiff invited the two of them in, gave them some water and Dunkaroos, and we chatted a bit. As has been the case in the past, they were excited to hear that we have a Book of Mormon and that we have been visited by missionaries before. I think in their minds this means that we are ripe for conversion. We were quite honest with them and told about how we have been blacklisted by the Mormon church and how previous missionaries who had visited us were split up and sent away.

Despite this news, they made an appointment to come back Thursday evening. Right now I think it is 50/50 whether they will actually show up or not. The last missionaries that visited us just stopped coming one day. I think they were tired of our questions and wasting their time with two people who were never going to join their church.

If they do come we will be hospitable and kind. We will also ask questions and share what we believe. I figure if they are going to come and share their beliefs we should be allowed to share ours.

I don't get the same charge out of visits from the Mormon missionaries that I used to. Back in the day when we were going to a conservative evangelical church and putting the "fun" in fundamentalism, I figured that I would dazzle them with my eloquence and drive them to their knees in repentance. I didn't want to be their friend, I wanted to convert them as badly as they wanted to convert me.

I don't have an agenda anymore, I'm not looking to bring them into a "Bible believing church" because I have no time or patience for church. Now I just want to be a nice guy who loves Jesus.

The inability to trust

It's really sad. How hard it is, coming face to face with my lake of faith and inability to trust. Something good happens, scratch that, something great happens and I am still afraid. I wait for the other shoe to drop and something much worse than what I was cured of to afflict me.

Neurotically, I lay awake at night and worry about the good thing I have been blessed with to be taken away. Unable to trust in the love of God, or anything else for that matter, my demeanor changes. The anxiety that often plagues me is heightened exponentially. A case of the Norwalk virus and the resulting diminished efficacy of the medication I take to treat my anxiety doesn't help.

And then I come face to face with this.

What a fucking cliche this has become. We have reduced the cross to a bobble we wear around our neck and a hunk of wood we kneel in front of but never really submit to. Maybe we need to go on a five year cross fast where its image is removed from every church and we are no longer permitted to wear it around our neck. Maybe then we would once again begin to discover the horrible reality of it all.

Despite the cliche I find comfort. Somehow, despite my halting faith and inability to trust I find a hand on my shoulder and I know that it is OK. I am understood. I don't know why, I certainly don't deserve it, but I am understood. My faith is still small, but I guess whatever is there is enough.

Home sweet home

11:43 PM and we are home. A co-worker with a 4x4 ferried everyone who needed it to their houses. God bless him.

Thanks to everyone for your prayers and well wishes.

Humbling

On a clear day I am a mere ten minute drive away from home. Today, thanks to what has become known as "the Great Blizzard of 2007" it is an impossible journey. It is incredibly humbling to be experiencing this.

I just read a story about two people who died trying to walk home in the same storm that is now battering Saskatoon. What a tragic waste. Today, many of the people who work with me wanted to try and make it home. Many of us tried to talk them out of it, but they were determined to try. Fortunately, their cars couldn't make it out of the parking lot. For me, that was a miracle from God.

A family just came to our front doors because they saw the lights on and the movement inside. Their son is a diabetic and needs an insulin shot. After some gentle persuasion the drug store across the parking lot agreed to help him out, even if their tills were closed.

I keep thinking about those people caught in Hurricane Katrina. I will be out of here tomorrow. The city is doing what they can to clear the roads. I can't imagine what they went through.

Here is a picture of a tow truck that got stuck in our parking lot trying to rescue some cars. This isn't a long distance shot, it was right outside our front doors. My little Kia is the first car in the picture on the left. It looks so pathetic.

There is nowhere I would rather be than home right now. Still, I am happy and blessed that my family and I are safe and warm.

Welcome back!

My first day back at work after my vacation. We are experiencing the worst blizzard I have ever seen, literally zero visibility. I went to walk across the parking lot and everything closed in around me.

The police have shut down all the roads that lead away from work. I just went to the store next to us and bought a blanket and some pillows, we could be here awhile. The good news is that the kids are safe with a friend and Tiff is here with me. It could be worse.

2006 in review.... sort of

I've seen about a thousand year in review posts the last few days so I wanted to resist the urge to jump on that bandwagon. However, there are a few things from last year that I feel like deserve to be highlighted.

Slayer came out with a great new CD this year. In true Slayer fashion they managed to offend a whole lot of Christians with the album cover. I bet that didn't hurt CD sales.

Lamb of God came out with what was, in my opinion, the album of the year. Out of 11 songs there was only one that I thought was so so. Go pick it up.

Brian McLaren has become almost passe but his 2006 release The Secret Message of Jesus was very well written and worth the read.

I also recommend Today at the Mission by rhymes with kerouac. We received our copy yesterday. Tiff called dibs on it first but I am looking forward to reading it once she is done. All the proceeds go to the mission, why not support a good cause and get a good book?

Any look back is incomplete without a look forward. I pray that 2007 will bring health and happiness to you and yours. I am hopeful that the powers that be will see fit to intervene this year to help the less fortunate around the world (Sudan etc.) and make a serious stand to help the environment. The damage that we have done is become more and more apparent on a daily basis. The time to act is now.

In closing, I leave you with the benediction from Numbers 6.

May the Lord bless you
      and protect you.
May the Lord smile on you
      and be gracious to you.
May the Lord show you his favor
      and give you his peace (Numbers 6: 24-26 NLT).